Whole Thirty Schmirty (Or How Condiments Saved Me From Committing Bacon Mutiny)

Six days in, and this Whole30 business is getting on my nerves big time. I am having awake dreams of frothy morning coffees and stacks of crispy bacon. But until I get my nitrite & sugar free bacon from the boys at Sheepdrove (or cash in on my first bacon delivery from Cat), I will have to resort to other pick-me-ups: condiments!

Salsa and baba ganoush plus Waitrose's leftover Xmas candles

My kitchen is still without any electrical lighting, and on top of that, smells of paint solvent, but I figured I could whizz up some lovely condiments to go with my MEAT AND VEG, MEAT AND VEG, MEAT AND VEG, MEAT AND VEG, ad absurdum.

Rough guide to not losing your mind I: 
3 eggplants
3 tablespoons of tahini
Salt
Olive oil
Apple cider vinegar or lemon juice
Garlic

1. Cut eggplants lengthwise, make a criss cross pattern across surface to avoid explosions
2. Roast at, uhm, I dunno, 180 degrees until they start to get color and the skin blackens further, maybe 30 minutes?
3. Scoop out insides of eggplants, or leave'em on like I did (how unorthodox!)
4. Whizz all ingredients together for a party on your plate

Rough guide to not losing your mind II: 
5-6 large tomatoes
Salt and herbs for roasting
Apple cider vinegar or lemon juice
Half an onion
Garlic
Fresh coriander
Some cumin to taste

If the tomatoes are gorgeous and in season, skip the first step

1. Cut tomatoes into halves, season, roast in a pan, see above Rough guide I, point 2 for exact instructions (ehem)
2. Cut the tomatoes into pieces, mix with loads of coriander, some vinegar/lemon juice, the chopped onion & garlic and dash of cumin

I'm still thinking of bacon though...