Newbie Frustrations

Today was one of those days. The flow from previous days was gone and the whole day just went staccato. S.t.a.c.c.a.t.o. Stop, start, stop, start. It just wore me down.

Barn duty was pretty dire, given that we are now just two, after Aurelie's departure. Plus Kai is suffering from hay fever, meaning that I am doing all hay and straw handling. With the calf that needs feeding, it took us around two hours to get out of the barn...

The tasks that I then had planned for the rest of the day just didn't pan out. At all. The boys left me with mainly rotten wood. I couldn't tell pine from birch. I don't know how to use the chain saw to get more wood from the fallen trees. I couldn't find the axe. I cut off a chunk off my finger (milking was painful...). I still couldn't screw on the electrical fencing. My "fashion wellies" are making my knees hurt.

That's milk on the left and manure on the right.

To top it off, I had the barn all to myself at the end of the day, all two and a half hours of manure and runaway calves. And the silly cow whose calf needs feeding has learned to dodge being tied up, meaning that I couldn't feed him.

Frustration! I am used to being efficient and taking responsibility for my work, but I find I am so dependent on other people to teach and show me. And they are not always there. Or they assume that I know everything or can read between the lines. Maybe I should take it as a compliment, being seen as little miss capable Arbeitsleiter, but today it just made me want to cry. I know, how silly. I obviously just need to chill and relish being the newbie.

I guess I am tired as well. I am not used to physical labour eight hours a day and it is taking its toll. Thank goodness we've got a new wwoofer coming on Thursday. He's so being put on hay and shit and milking duty. Mohahahahaha....